Divorce is a difficult thing to deal with for everyone involved, but many children will find their parents’ divorce very hard to cope with. It can be a sad and confusing time for them and they may even feel that they are responsible for their parents breaking up.
Of course, your child’s feelings are totally understandable but this can add to the guilt you will already be feeling about the impact of your divorce on your children.
Minimising Stress for Children in Divorce
As parents you will want to protect your children from any harm or upset including any caused by your divorce. This is almost impossible to do but you can minimise the stress and upset your children will feel by making sure you do everything to work through the stress of a divorce in a measured way, with as little conflict possible.
Obviously when a relationship is breaking up there will be arguments and this will cause tension within the household. Every effort should be taken to minimise the conflicts that take place, even when your children are not around. Children are very good at picking up on non-verbal signs that everything is not ok.
In addition to trying to reduce the arguments, you should look to obtain a divorce settlement that suits both you and your ex-partner as soon as possible. This has many benefits on both you, your ex-partner and on the children. When you are going through a tough time emotionally, which you will be if you are going through a divorce, your children will pick up on your distress themselves, so a fast resolution will reduce the amount of time you will be feeling the pressure and stress of the divorce settlement.
Your children will benefit from a quick settlement for the same reasons, but especially if the arguments are being caused by the issue of who they will live with and contact arrangements.
If you are struggling to be able to find a way to reach compromise, court is not the only option. Mediation is a great way of being able to come to a settlement with your ex-spouse. You will be able to work around the table with a mediator who is completely independent of the situation and whose role is to work towards a settlement that both you and your ex-spouse are happy with.
This means that settlement will be reached more quickly, and also without a large legal battle or large legal bill. Mediation will impact hugely on how your children cope with your divorce and will make the process much less painful for everyone involved.
Return to Children and Divorce.